Friday, Feb 24, 1882 Cold again. Have finished my picture and improved it by putting a figure on horseback near the foreground. Calvert and I attended Millets lecture at the Academy and afterwards went to the club. I am unhappy and discouraged and am beginning to feel again the worrying anxieties that pressured me a year ago. I have a feeling of loneliness and think of the days when I had my dear Gertrude to sympathise with me on all my troubles, with a sinking of the heart and an awful dread of the inevitable changes of the future.
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