Wednesday, Mar 1, 1882 A dark rainy day. Painted a little picture of Paestum which Calvert is going to give to Emma Brace. I wish I was at work on some good subject but I feel jaded and there seems no stimulus to work. With all the pictures I have out not one sells and I am very much troubled. I have been here all winter and sold only one picture for $300 and even that one I have not been paid for. I am sick at heart and look to the future with a feeling of terror. Went to the club last night and wrote a desponding letter to Mrs. Saywer. I ought not to write to any one while I feel so discouraged. [In another's handwriting: "Certainly not!"]
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