Thursday, Sept 23, 1886 Rained copiously most of the night but cleared this forenoon. Picked some of the grapes which are not as fine as last year. Did something towards my preparations for leaving but as I at noon had heard nothing from the note I sent to be discounted I went down town after dinner and to the bank where I found Bray had gone away not to return until next week. My note could not be found among his letters and it is probable it has been sent to him as it was not addressed to him as cashier. Girard advised me to have my father endorse a new note which he will take to the bank tomorrow as it was too late today. Went to see Henry Abbey and gave him a new note for the one due 26th including our a/c for the past 3 months. How all this goads and tortures me, this discounting the future and living as it seems to me by chance. My father very feeble. I doubt whether he comes down stairs again this winter as all effort is a great trouble to him. Sara and I sit alone in the parlor after he has got settled for the night and talk over our anxieties. She said last night "what would I do if any thing were to happen to you" but I replied "what would I do if any thing were to befal you" She has worked very hard today cleaning the room Lucy occupied and getting it ready for winter. She is like her mother in industry and activity and has much more patience and fortitude than I have.
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